Being Mom’s Fulltime Caregiver After Surgery
My Mom had to have surgery and her doctor advised she would need help at home. So, I became her fulltime caregiver temporarily. Mom was weak post-surgery, so I provided safety and support. But, I also made sure she took her medicines and monitored for any post-surgical issues. I fixed her bland foods that she could eat and made sure she drank plenty.
It was quite a bit of coordination leaving the hospital and being sure everything was set up for her. The doctor ordered a few new medicines, which she needed right away. However, since I was supposed to stay with her at all times this became a bit difficult. I ended up running out when she was resting, but I might have arranged it differently next time. I worried that she might get up and fall while I was gone. Because I had been spending time with her at the hospital, I didn’t have everything prepared at home.
Discoveries as a Fulltime Caregiver
One thing I didn’t expect that came out of being Mom’s full-time caregiver for that period was making a number of discoveries. Mom always seemed well put together and always told me she was doing “fine”. But, I quickly found out she was having trouble managing the household. The pantry and fridge were full of expired food. And, she had one room that she had just filled with items and sort of blocked from use. It seemed she was trying to reduce the areas she needed to clean. But, she had not gotten around to cleaning or organizing much of the home in a while.
Additionally, in looking at her bathroom and bedroom, it became clear that she was not able to handle her self-care as before. It seemed she was rarely bathing. Mom used to enjoy wearing blouses, but she had relegated them to the back of the closet. Clearly, ironing wasn’t feasible for her. And, she seemed to struggle with laundry in general. Her sheets had a strong odor.
I stayed on with Mom a bit longer than planned once I noticed these issues. I worked on cleaning and organizing. But, I also realized we had to make some changes. It was obvious how easy it had been for me not to see what was really happening. Mom needed some assistance to keep her safe and comfortable at home. And, I needed to have some eyes and ears on her for my peace of mind.
Assessment and Planning
I discussed my concerns with Mom and she reluctantly admitted she was having difficulties. I assured her that I wanted to support her to stay at home (her desire). Then, I called around and ended up speaking to EasyLiving. They offer a range of home care support, but they suggested the best starting point may be a comprehensive assessment.
They were indeed right, as that gave us a straightforward plan for what needed to be done and priorities. I did some things and hired the care manager to help organize others. She made many helpful suggestions. Some were simple changes in the home that made things safer and easier for Mom. She also assessed where Mom could use help the most so it would work for her budget. In addition, she made some suggestions regarding Mom’s insurance which saved her money every month.
Additionally, when I stepped in to help, I realized I didn’t have any of Mom’s medical history or current information. Mom didn’t have it organized either, which made pre-surgery appointments challenging. When we had to set up follow up, it was clear there had been little coordination of her medical care in the past. Our care manager was amazing in tracking everything down and pulling it all together. She set up Mom’s MyMedicare profile and created a health file. Mom didn’t even have her living will and healthcare surrogate paperwork accessible. Now, we have all this at the ready whenever it’s needed. And, we can communicate vital information to Mom’s doctors.